if you leave yourself wide open i might try you. no harm intended just show me what your made of. 

Photobooth Diaries

i was having writers block. 

jus filling space

So i was going through my old blog and i found 2 things i wanted to share on here. Reflecting on this stuff now makes me think 2009 was the year i started noticing things i didnt before about life and Id really slowed myself down to decide what i wanted mines to be . Anyways.. here they are.


Poem:


Dear Lord,
Please keep me strong and sane.
Please help me keep in mind the reason I stay. Please remind me that I'm focused and fill me with love and inspiration.
Give me the patience to balance out my future anticipations.
Show me the way so i'll never get lost,
Make sure i understand hard work makes me the boss.
Keep my eyes open so i can gain knowledge from any and everything.
Raise my head up high so they will acknowledge that im a queen.
Keep me close so that i kno you've always got my back.
Relieve me of those feelings, so i wont hate my dad(S).
Push me to always do my best, cuz i know yu made me special and i am nothing like the rest. ;)

epiphany

i had a nice lil getaway house sitting and i jus had such a good time with the company of myself. :)

anyway, that final morning i woke up and got ready for a shower

  and while tossing my clothes off heading for the shower

i glanced over at myself in a full length mirror

and i DUNNO if it was the morning sunrays that beamed through the window onto my body

or the suprisingly innocent look i caught in my eyes

but i had stopped in my tracks, i was in awe at the sight of my own bare physique

i found pleasure in viewing my own body. the entire essence of me.

&& i want yu to kno that..

yu should too :)

i want us AS THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN that we are.

to stop and appreciate the temple we are blessed with

i would like for us to

lay out and admire every single curve of our body

inhale your bodys scent,

touch yourself.

you are you

;)

stare yurself in the face and dont be bashful about yur beauty

because yu are everyBIT of that lovely face yu see.

embrace every

SCAR, STRETCH MARK, FRECKLE, MOLE, CELLULITE

take yur time honey

take extra care to love you

because we need this..

on our worst days we should always let our confidence shine through

& DONT YU EVER DOUBT iT.

love that body & yur exceptional face

DONT CHANGE FOR ANYBODY.

use it & love every bit that you got!

dont sell yourself short.

dont look for validation within a man. you will never be validated.

love yourself as much as no one else can love you.

blah of the night.

today was cool..
woke up at 3.
i stayed up till 4 last night
hung out with Marsh
went to the Marina
had a cool session
today was more of a mellow positive high than what Ive been feeling lately.
i stretched my body out walking around
which made me feel even better.
we had dinner at La Piñata
and then we went home.
real chill. real simple. real fun.

when i was at the Marina though i thought about you.. 

self discovery, mental challenge.

well... this is my first official post, my mind has been out of my reach lately. writing helps heals. Its hard to admit that i dont like myself, well i dont love myself. every self discovery presents a mental challenge. im always picking over myself, at the things i dont like. i want to learn and love myself, and be confident and proud of the person that i am. the person i have become.

i care about what people think. so much that i would be afraid to disappoint people. i didnt want them to look down on me or be unhappy with me. but supressing my real feelings only built that energy up inside me. i have no more room for it.

i want to love me regardless of who i may disappoint, because someone would love me jus the way i am.. 

me.

mind tricks.

i think i kno
i hope i will
i wish i do
im not i am
i cant YES, you can!